Funny Songs on CD & Other Nutty Merchandise

Steve was stupid before stupid was cool... as documented here!
This is Steve's first strictly country CD, with twelve goofy, stupid country songs. You'll come for the NASCAR song, but you'll stay for the Mandolin song! Click the titles below to hear some previews. $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: The NASCAR Song · Where Would I Be Without Me · Handlin' My Mandolin · Sweat The Small Stuff · I Need A Parking Spot · I Opened Up My Heart (And My Brain Fell Out) · You're Better Off With Me · Why Does It Take So Long (To Record A 3-Minute Song) · Take It Back · Loving Her (Is Like Playing At The Bluebird Cafe) · Stand By Your Van · Thank God I'm A Country Star

Steve's comedy/bluegrass group The Wizenheimerz has FINALLY got a CD out!
This is the next phase in stupid music, and it's so very wrong that you simply MUST have it! It has 18 songs, plus a bonus track -- what a deal! Click the titles below to hear some previews. $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: The NASCAR Song · Shitty Li'l Love Song · Thinkin' Of You · In A Waffle House In Alabama · Her Side / His Side · That's Why Sometimes Daddies Need To Drink · Grandpa's Dead · Seal Pup · Never Not · He Kissed Her Lips · Handlin' My Mandolin · Fugly · Whipped · Pain · Cowtipping · Seven Shallow Graves · Pedley · Our Boy And Bubba

New original rocking kids' songs for 2006!
Entirely from the point of view of a six-year-old, this funny record ROCKS OUT. Steve teamed up with children's author Louie Lawent to create eleven all-new kids' songs, which grown-ups are going to love too! $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Refrigerator Art · Are We There Yet? · He's A Bully · I Just Want To Help · Halloween · I'll Be Good · Little Sister (Ooly Gooly Baka Hu) · Quitcher Whining! · Gotta Clean My Room · I Don't Wanna Go To Bed · Not Me

Steve's group "actual size" has a second CD for 2005! Steve and Andy Corwin continue the wacky two-part harmony on topics such as hypochondriac pirates, Jimmy Buffett's lifestyle, and of course our stupid, evil president! Go to www.actualsizemusic.com to see and hear more! $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Steve The Pirate · Go Forth My Son · Jimmy Buffett (Somebody Else Got To Be) · How Come You Ain't Dead Yet · The Dollar Bill Song · If I Was You · My Conservative Girlfriend · Passing Trains · There You Have It, There You Are · In A Waffle House In Alabama

Okay - you want kids' songs, with no bad words or grown-up subject matter? Here's the collection of your dreams, just in time for the holidays. All the Harry Potter songs to date are here, plus a few selections from Girlband, a song for Sara (Steve's adorable niece), and a bunch of other fun stuff for kids of all ages! $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Quidditch Ball Wizard · It Saw Her Standing There · Harry's Wand · I Live In A Green Toyota - Shrek 2 version · I Wanna Be That Moose · Bedwetter · Sara · Buy My Cookies · Poop On That · Pajamas Of My Mind · Talk In Espanol · Quidditch Ball Wizard (live version)

The Partridge Family meets our stupidest president! It's Steve's THIRD CD of the year 2004! Holy crap! You see, October rolled around, and Steve went nuts with inspiration - mostly due to the upcoming presidential election, and the incredible amount of bovine-feces surrounding it. There's no Harry Potter on this album. Instead, there's a great deal of flatulence and jokes at Dubya's expense, plus a jab or two at Martha Stewart, obnoxious users of cell phones, and binge-drinking. Yay! $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: You Stink George W! · Martha My Dear · Breakfast In A Bottle · Hey There, Georgy Boy · Don't Hear The Beeper · Soap Gets In Your Eyes · Big SUV · Channel E · Somebody Farted · The Ballad Of Wanda And Dino ·

June 2004 brings us Steve's new CD of nutty song parodies! With another Harry Potter tune ("Harry's Wand," which was #1 on the Dr. Demento Show for four weeks), and some fun at the expense of American Idol, SUVs, plumbers, and bedwetters, Pottered Meat continues the proud tradition of Steve's ridiculous stuff! $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Harry's Wand · Shut Up · Shatner · Stand By Your Van · I Live In A Green Toyota - Shrek 2 version · Butt Crack · Duct Tape · Renting (live version) · Ned Beatty (live version) · Quidditch Ball Wizard (live version) · Bedwetter · Nursery Rhyme Moyel · J-Lo And Ben

Steve's new group "actual size" is full of republican-bashing for 2004! Steve has teamed up with Andy Corwin, formerly of The Foremen, to make the most of this election year. Some new stuff, and some re-worked old stuff. Go to www.actualsizemusic.com to see and hear more! $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Cowboy By Day... · Lie Lie Lie (political version) · Actual Size · Every Man For Himself · An Agnostic Gospel Song · Extra · Sex, Drugs, and Bill Monroe · She's Jewish · Travelin' Hard · Pain · Ain't No Liberal · Song About Nothing

Current events (well, they were current in 2003) were never so damn FUNNY... hear what's going on with Saddam, W, Osama, Larry King, Enron, and (of course) Eminem and Ricky Martin! PLUS... Jewish Christmas Carols! $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Suspenders · Saddam'll Be My Target (I Want Osama) · Da Enron Ron Ron· I Live In A Green Toyota · Constipated· Jewish Christmas Carol Medley · Boobs! (I Did 'Em Again) · Me And Timmy McV · Extra · Burpo The Scary Clown

Eleven wacky songs for 2002! Features not one but TWO Harry Potter songs, fun with sexy cartoon characters, and the world's MOST DISGUSTING SONG EVER. $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Skinny Woman · Quidditch Ball Wizard · Betty Rubble · Puff The Magic Rapper · Brown Booger · Chat Room · It Saw Her Standing There · (Please Don't Make Me Eat) Sushi · Grandpa's Dead · That Motel Smell · My Girl Goes

Presenting Steve's nutty 4-person Jewish comedy singing sensation! Websters defines 'nudnik' as an annoying, unbearable windbag. But do it in 4-part harmony, and you have an act! Particularly if you're Jewish. $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: B'Mir Bist Du Schon · Moses · I Want To Be Irish · My Little Babushka · My Bubbie's A Killer · Hi Mom, It's Me · Mendel The Reindeer · Twist Of The Dreidel · Nudnique · Katusha · Those Were The Days · Let's Go Plant A Tree

What do you get when two six-foot guys start singing about training bras and slumber parties? That's right - GIRLBAND! Steve went kinda nuts in 2001, and this two-man band is the result. Check it out - it's totally G-rated, making it a great gift for kids of all ages (and genders). $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Slumber Party · Buy My Cookies · Poop On That · The Pajamas Of My Mind · My Brother's Coming Back · Pinky Swear · Ms. G · Talk In Espanol · Training Bra · Real Good Cry · Boys Are Stinky · Braces

So ya like parodies? And ya like solo-Steve? Here's an original homage to the Clinton presidency, to take you back to a more innocent time. HA! $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Monica · Chimpanzee · Renting · Technical Writer · Uncle (Marv) Albert · Here Comes My Son · Chocolate Cream Pie · Heaving On A Jet Plane · Single Mom · Moronic · Virile Man (Tail To The Chief)· Snow White And The Seven Deadly Sins

Steve's second offering as part of The Two Jew Revue, this one is even nuttier than the first TJR album (below). $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: My Bubbie's A Killer · Planet Syndicadio · Maniac On The Interstate · Three Bucks An Hour · No Groupies · I Confess · Hit By A Train · Parking Spot · Crisis Center Hotline Volunteer · Pre-Arranged Wedding · Hit In Outer Space · Pain · Student Of Being F***ed Over · Monica

Steve teams up with Jacob Kantor to create the closest thing to The Smothers Brothers since Erma Bombeck. Wacky songs abound. $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Lie Lie Lie · Whiskers And Me · She's Jewish · Penelope, Arthur, and Stanley · Whipped · Bacon · Hi Mom, It's Me · What's He Got That I Don't Got? · Wedding Bells · Sex With The Ex · Extra

16 original songs in the classic solo-Steve tradition. Biting, silly, goopy - this one has it all. $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Sex With The Ex · Whipped · The Vomit Song · Neighborhood Titty Bar · Pregnant · I Can't Believe You Left Me For A Dork Like That · Horny Desperate Guy · (I Wrote You A Song And) I Want It Back · Rules · Cringing Bastard · No Butt · Hey Look My Way · My Brothers · (Oh God) If I Were You (I'd Be So Sick Of Us) · Hey Scout · Pretty Day

Okay... the year was 1995... OJ was all over the news... no one had heard of Monica Lewinsky yet... Osama bin Laden was still being trained by the CIA... and Steve released his first CD of parodies. "Hysterical!" "Great production!" "It's shiny and round!" $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Yer In-Bred · So Happy Together · Chromosome · Ned Beatty · 60s Medley (Louie Louie, Like A Rolling Stone, Aquarius) · Little Gerbil · Like A Dog · Texaco · Redneck · In A Waffle House In Alabama · Thank God I'm a Country Star · A Day In The Life (for O.J.)· Yesterday (for Kato)

It's Steve's first CD! And he hates it now. It's out of print, but there are a few left. Bound to be a collector's item, it contains some of Steve's (very) early live standup performances, and a bunch of wacky songs. $12.

STANDUP COMEDY ON THIS ALBUM: Groceries · Holidays/Family · The Zoo · Frosty The Snowman · Commercials · Housekeeping · Skipper · No Sweat etc. · Golf

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: They Only Fight Occasionally · Closet Heterosexual · In A Waffle House In Alabama · Boneheads On My TV · I Put Her Toothbrush In The Mail (And I Addressed It To Hell) · Virile Man

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Compact Discs To Put Your Drink On

$10

These are rough drafts that didn't turn out so well. Personally signed and numbered by Steve himself, they provide an excellent way to protect your desk, coffee table, hardwood floor, or bicycle seat from damage due to condescension. Lovely gold or green tone. Various manufacturers. $10.
* Order now and receive a free used oil filter!